I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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