She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
