"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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