On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This house was built for laser tag.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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