Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
