i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
