You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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