hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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