Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
