So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
