i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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