I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
