Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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