It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
