Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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