very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
