I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Never underestimate the power of titties
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