If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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