Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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