The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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