We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize