I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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