i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
