im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
