ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
