sarcasm needs its own font
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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