I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
