Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
