dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
