I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize