I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
