i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
