Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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