i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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