bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
