i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
