thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
