Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
