Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
