i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
