If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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