i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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