my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
