ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
