ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
