Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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