if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm really busy with my period
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