i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize