I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
