he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
