Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
