If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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