I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
