Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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