Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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