I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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