He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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