In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
