I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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