suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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