mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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