We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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