i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Drake has all the answers
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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