there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's blow job season.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
