have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
