Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
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My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
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Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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