No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He kissed a someone with a penis
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
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I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
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Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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